dont talk to me ill get attached to you and become jealous of anyone else who talks to you
f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c-p-l-a-n-e-t:
fuck the police if you know what i mean
okay so i don’t usually add stories to reblogs but i HAVE TO in this case
a couple years ago i was on a roadtrip with my family. i had to pee really bad so we pulled into a subway parking lot and i ran in, also to get cookies for us so i wouldn’t just be rudely using the bathroom and ditching. when i came out of the bathroom these three really hot police officers were sitting near the beginning of the line and another one was in the line in front of me. i am pretty easily intimidated by attractive people, so i just quietly stood in line behind him. once i was done i went to grab a couple of napkins and i didn’t want to pipe up that one of them was in my way so i awkwardly coughed to catch his attention. one of the guys sitting down kind of snickered at me and was like “he doesn’t bite you know” and the guy in the way TURNED AROUND AND WINKED AND MADE THIS FLIRTY GROWLING NOISE AT ME and i fucking SQUEAKED and apologized and walked out of there so quickly my face was so red
Greatest pick up of all time
if you start talking to me everyday and night, i’m obviously gonna get attached to you. even if i never planned to in the first place, i will. so before you start getting close to me, make sure that you won’t just suddenly leave me. cause you know, that happens to me a lot.
what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do
dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off
“People with vaginas”
what are those called again
I can’t remember
this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
fuck i actually never thought about this
la belle personne
